Digital Gods & Digital Goddesses in a Digital World
Porn Viewing & Abuse, male
Pornography isn't a niche habit for a specific kind of person. It's a global reality. People watch it across every race, every religion, every sexual orientation, every generation. It's one of those things that's incredibly common but rarely talked about honestly.
And when something this widespread stays in the shadows? Shame fills the silence. Naming the truth, that it's not 'other people' doing this, it's all of us, is the first step toward real conversation.
Most teens don't seek out porn. It finds them first—unintentionally, unexpectedly. But curiosity about sex?
That's real.
And sometimes porn becomes the default answer to questions no one else is answering
WHY DO TEEN/YOUNG ADULTS WATCH PORN?
Teen/Young adults use porn for some of the same reasons as adults do including arousal, education, loneliness, peer pressure & boredom.
WHY DO ADULTS WATCH PORNOGRAPHY?
Adults view porn for a variety of reasons that include sexual pleasure, sexual curiosity, fantasy, boredom avoidance, lack of sexual satisfaction, emotional distraction & suppression, stress reduction, self-exploration.
EDUCATION
Pornography use & viewing is similar to substance use & experimentation.
Most teens may view porn but it does not become frequent, heavy and abusive. And having open and shame-free conversations, allows teens to make better decisions.
Using the Safety First model, the following concept also applies to porn use:
Young adults & older teenagers want honest information, not just abstinence instructions and fear tactics.
Pornography viewing may have health consequences such as adopting risky sexual behaviors.
Many teenagers/young adults may try it without any long-term effects.
Being in possession of a certain type of pornography is illegal.
Moderation should be encouraged. Need to know when too much is too much & ask for help.
With repeated, compulsive use, it may become addicting.
For teens, complete abstinence from porn viewing is best but unrealistic.
WHAT YOUNG ADULTS AND TEENS NEED TO KNOW ABOUT PORN VIEWING
Pornography often acts out the fantasies and desires of males which may be completely different than what females want.
Porn shows unrealistic expectations of what women are willing or unwilling to do.
Porn is a business and male and female adult film entertainers are under contract to perform.
Female adult video actresses’ bodies are often surgically and digitally enhanced.
Porn does not show the connection between relationship and sexual intercourse.
Women are often depicted as sexual objects dominated by sexually driven men.
Pornography watching may influence you to have a more permissive attitude towards casual sex.
Sex is glamorous, fun, and risk-free, and casual sexual interactions are the norm.
Porn abuse and addiction is an obsessive preoccupation with pornography accompanied by repeated compulsive use.
Porn Abuse & Addiction
With frequent and heavy use, porn use may become porn abuse and addiction.
Males have reported that porn abuse and addiction have affected their lives in the followings:
•Poor sexual self-esteem
•Experiencing more negative emotions such as anger, disgust, guilt, nervousness.
•Reporting greater depressive symptoms such as anxiety, shame, guilt and secrecy.
• Tolerance, which is needing more & more different and exciting stimulation to reach completion.
•Reported a loss of control over their pornography viewing, feeling disappointed in their loss of self-control, willpower and discipline.
If you feel that your porn use is out of control, it's important to speak with a trusted adult so that you can get help. Check out the resources below.
If porn use has become porn abuse and addiction, please find the courage to ask for help.
It is normal to require love, monogamy, friendship, intimacy, emotional connection, mental stimulation, readiness, open & non-judgmental communication, among so many other things to engage in sexual intercourse or love making.
If you are using porn as an education tool, once you are 18 years of age, you can attend a sexual education class led by a licensed clinical sexologist.
Reflections
Do you agree there’s a difference between porn use & porn abuse?
What would you define as porn abuse?
Do you think you could recognize the difference between porn use & porn abuse?
Are you aware that the images & types of sexual intercourse depicted in pornography are not what women who do not work in pornography want or like?
Instead of viewing porn for sexual education, what would be the best way to educate adolescents about sexuality?
Resources
Websites:
Sex, Etc. | Sex education by teens, for teensScarleteen | Sex Education For The Real World
Peggy Orenstein.com (Click on Resources) then 'Positive Sexuality' tab.
Youth Pornography Addiction Center (ypacenter.com)
Books:
Dating and Sex: A Guide for the 21st Century Teen Boy 1st Edition by Andrew M. Smiler
Respect: Everything a Guy Needs to Know About Sex, Love, and Consent by Inti Chavez Perez
She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman by Ian Kerner
S.E.X., Second edition: The All-You-Need-To-Know Sexuality Guide to Get You Through Your Teens and Twenties by Heather Corinna