Digital Gods & Digital Goddesses in a Digital World
You have to decide who you are and force the world to deal with you, not with its idea of you.
-James Baldwin-
LGBTQIA+
As an RN, I have been a witness to the devastating pain that some members of the LBGTIQ+ community experience from the rejection of their very existence because of their sexual identity.
If you are a part of this community and have the fortune of your family and friends’ support, then I am so happy for you.
If you do not have your family and friends’ support, then this section is for you.
I started to write about heterosexism and how it impacts the LGBTIQ+ communities.I started to write about civil rights, the right to life, social rights, political rights, and economic rights for the LGBTIQ+ communities.
I even started to write about homophobia and transphobia in the Black community.I wanted to remind folk that discrimination based on sex, sexual orientation & gender identity is also part of the 1964 Civil Rights Act, not just race, color, religion and national origin.
But every time I thought of the best message to say to you, what I could write, what I should write, I was left with the same concept that I would like to share with you.
YOU ARE A CHILD OF GOD-SPIRIT
To assist you in remembering that you are a child of God (in case you forgot).
To say to you, time and time again, for as many times as you need to hear it….
You are worthy.
You are enough.
You are validated.
You are loved.
You are a gift.
You have a purpose.
IT IS NORMAL TO WANT VALIDATION
And it is normal to want love, approval and validation & acceptance from external influences such as our family, friends and society.
In addition, we want to see the representation of who we are in society & we want to be reassured that we are alright and that everything is going to be okay.
It is doubly hard & difficult to receive this message when you are a part of the minority communities of LGBTIQ+ and also a part of the Black African community.
When we are not validated, affirmed and loved unconditionally, we may begin to experience shame and guilt for who we are. This internalized shame and guilt are devastating to us. In fact, shame and guilt make a person vulnerable to substance problems associated with alcohol & substance abuse1. We self-medicate to cover up feeling of shame & guilt.
Sometimes we have to face the reality that we may not get the love and acceptance we deserve from others.
This realization should not be minimized and is hard to accept.
WHAT CAN WE DO FOR OURSELVES?
What are our options when we do not receive from others the love and acceptance we know we deserve? We can learn to cope in a way that empowers us to love, accept, validate and affirm ourselves. If you are struggling with this, my greatest advice is to begin to take back your power by relearning how to define yourself from an internal point of view as opposed to an external viewpoint.
One factor about your life that you have absolute control over is how you see yourself, love yourself, validate yourself, and affirm yourself.
Oprah Winfrey has said for years that “You are responsible for yourself”. I realized that there is freedom and power in that simple statement:
I am responsible for myself.
This statement can mean different things to people, but to me, it means that I have two powerful options: freedom and empowerment.
FREEDOM & EMPOWERED
FREEDOM
What you believe, think, & feel about yourself is within your control.
FREEDOM
Your freedom is your ability to choose, at any time, the most loving, compassionate, life-enhancing & life-affirming thoughts and beliefs about who you are and your worth. It is your individualized, special experience, from within, that only you have control of. Take back the power and do not give anyone the power to make you feel unworthy of love and life.
EMPOWERMENT
You have the right to decide what you want to be, how you want to feel, how you see yourself, how you love yourself, how you treat yourself, how you care for yourself.
EMPOWERMENT
To be whole and complete, we must learn to take care of our whole self. Our inner person needs self-love, self-care, self-validation. Giving to ourselves this love, care and validation will take us further than anyone else’s love, care or validation.
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
Spiritual Wellness
Frequent and consistent connection through prayer, meditation, mindfulness, with the Divine Source is how we culitivate our authentic self.
Mental Health Wellness
Learn and practice healthy coping skills, seek help and support. Use the ancient wisdom to cope with modern day life.
Physical Wellness
Embrace wellness promoting behavior, reduce risky, unsafe behaviors.
Remember:
The Divine Source is for all of us. It does not matter how many times you have to remind yourself or how many times you forget, Spirit & Love are always here.
Ask for help with your mental health and emotional health.
Get support from people with common interests and identities, beliefs and experiences through social media.
Vote for politicians who support inclusivity, civil and equal rights for all people.
Use appropriate channels to fight discrimination & prejudice.
Educate yourself & others if & when appropriate.
When you get freedom, help someone to freedom.
Take care of self.
Social media/internet is an avenue to get support when it’s not available in the family or in the community.
Tele-health online counselors
RESOURCES
ACAchild.org. Association for Child and Adolescent Counseling.
https://acachild.org/resources-for-supporting-lgbtqia-children-teens-and-families/
Supporting Black LGBTQ Youth Mental Health – The Trevor Project. https://www.thetrevorproject.org/
Essential Resources for LGBTQ Teens & College Students (accreditedschoolsonline.org)
Christian and gay | Living Out resources, stories and questions
BOOKS
Queerfully and Wonderfully Made: A Guide for LGBTQ+
Christian Teens by Leigh Finke
This Book is Gay by Juno Dawson